Just last month, Pixar released an awesome movie entitled Inside Out. At first I thought the movie would be the typical Pixar film that would melt our hearts, turn everything into life lessons, affect us in different ways, and eventually forget the story as if it didn't touch our lives; but it was more than that! Well, Pixar's Pixar! We'll never know what they're up to! And kudos to them, they again messed up with our minds (and my life, actually)! Through the movie, not only did I realize that there's really so much going on in our/my subconscious (although the human emotions and brain action were well-taught on our sciences subjects way back elementary and high school, but who would even remember all of that? lels); it also made me reflect and ask the questions what my personality islands were and what were crashing/ had crushed/ were prone to crashing; what are my core memories; who probably is the lead emotion in my mind; and basically my whole life was bothered! Up to now, I think I'm not sure what are the answers to each of my questions, and I'm still thinking about it. I just felt sad that at my age (well, 21's not that old and is still the period of self-discovery), I'm still having no hint on who I really am/ what I'm really good at.
So I've decided to use the movie's characters Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Fear and Anger as headings of my monthly life updates, instead of just merely enumerating the things that happened to me the past month. By this, I would know what are the usual emotions I'm feeling! :)
Joy
I'm happy and excited for our HK trip three weeks from now! I've not yet polished our itinerary but who cares! I know our trip's gonna be fun, especially that we'll be celebrating my mom's 50th birthday there!
Sadness
Last September 6 was my father's birthday. He would have been 50 too! I'm sad that he's not with us as we celebrate his birthday, but I know he's already peaceful wherever he may be. I'm just bummed that he's not visiting me in my dreams anymore (that I remember of), unlike the previous years where he does occasional visits and we bond just like how we used to. I miss that kind of feeling when I know I had a good sleep because of him!
Disgust
This category is not limited to me feeling all icky or disgusted about something. This also includes some events that I'm turned-off at, and even disappointments I've encountered. And the disappointing event I'm talking about was during my interview at a known corporation in Manila. I was upset that it didn't turn out as expected. Since it's a known corporation, I thought it would have more distinct goals.. Just to summarize my experience, I think this opportunity is not for me, and they should define more what they want their prospect employees would eventually do. So anywaaay...
Fear
My contract here in my present organization is about to end. Although my renewal's already ensured, I'm still looking for new job opportunities which offer a regular position. I'm eyeing this another agency for a while now, and I'll be sending my application within the week, but I'm scared on all the possibilities on this application. If I get in, I would be really glad for the new opportunity but at the same time scared of leaving the agency I initially loved and got comfortable with. But if I won't be fortunate to get the job, it would also be disappointing and I'll be back to square-one. I don't know what to feel right now!! But I'll follow my gut feel and send in my application, just for a back up plan. It's better to have an option than none!
Anger
